Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Okay, ladies, hands up if you remember the first time you had to ‘feel’ what you were shaving, rather than see it. You know what I mean, that day in the shower when you were doing your normal toilette and were sure that you had just taken care of every hair on your leg, but then realized that without your glasses on, and in the shower, with that really poor lighting that exists in every shower, that you didn’t see the damned hairs there before you started either. Next thing you know, you are running your hand across the leg, checking for stubble, hoping that despite the calluses on your fingers, they will not lie to you about something as obnoxious as a stubborn leg hair.

Of course, this is inevitably followed by, the minute you get out of the shower, the placement of glasses on nose to inspect the work, which is followed by the required curses indicating that of course you missed that great swath of grossness across your calf. Of course, this is no reason to go back to using your Epilady, that apex of the self-mutilating torturous hair care products some asshole told us would change our lives (they did... they made us want to pin down the sucker and remove every inch of his hair with the damned thing). It still, though, is an issue that required addressing.

There is no cure for this problem. We can’t hold our legs out further, like we might a newspaper. We can’t adjust the angle they are attached to us, and we can’t just sprinkle Majik Hair Remover on them that will solve the problem for eternity. We could get electrolysis, or go for waxing, because who doesn’t look forward to hot wax being dumped on your skin for the sole purpose of ripping out all the hair by its roots? We could ask our significant other to help with the razor, which might create some fun extracurricular activities, but it certainly is not the most expeditious way to deal with the problem when you’re in a hurry. (Not to mention, his eyes could well be as crappy as your own for this sort of detail.)

All of this, though, begs one stunningly simple question that could well be the answer to the problem. If you can’t see the hair on your legs, and your significant other can’t see the hair on your legs (without adjusting his glasses and pulling out a spot light), perhaps there is no hair there to worry about? It could be easy to convince ourselves that yes, it did in fact miraculously vanish, and other than for a quick blind touch-up every couple of weeks, you’re fine. No worries! Even if you are fooling yourself, though, take heart in this one simple fact: even Magilla Gorilla gets lucky once in a while.

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